Exciting research on brain neurobiology regarding empathy and the way people connect to each other is expanding.
I want to start by stating that the brain is a social organ of the body, hard-wired to connect to others. As we connect to others, there is a pattern of social connectedness, which allows us to feel well balanced and regulated.
Here are a few examples to highlight this phenomenon:
· Modeling Appropriate Behavior – There are many studies at this time trying to understand mirror neurons. It is very exciting. The crux of mirror neurons is, “What I see is as if I do.” Another way of looking at this is, “monkey see, monkey do.” This is very important because this is how we learn. We mimic each other to stay functional and within normal limits. Here is the science: The prefrontal cortex (in the front of the forehead) of the brain becomes activated when we see something. Likewise, the same place in the brain becomes activated when we do something. Our brain activates in the same place either way. So what does this mean? Modeling appropriate behavior is as if we are doing the appropriate behavior. If I model kindness, I become kind. The more times this is done, the stronger the neuronal pathway.
· Broken Record Approach – Siegel explains the importance of rebuilding new neural pathways and strengthening those neuronal connections. Once a new pathway is formed, the old (unused) pathways die off (Siegel, 2007).
· Languaging - NO versus YES concept. At a conference in Palm Springs (2007), Dr. Siegel asked the audience to close their eyes and listen to him speak. He asked us to become aware of our senses and emotions. He began by saying “NO” 15 times; then he changed the word and said “YES” 15 times. It was very interesting all the emotions in the audience when we discussed the “NO” part of the exercise and the change in our affect when he said “YES.” No is a powerful word which is attached to multiple emotions and memories. Yes, in contrast, is just as powerful. In my trainings regarding anger/stress management, I use this technique to show the power of words.
· When/Then – This is a tool I use which supports the power of language. It is a powerful tool when used appropriately. When a client is acting out and not listening, they are in the “NO” mentality and disregulated. The brain is in the limbic system; fight mode. This is not the time to teach or demand. Once the state is regulated and in the “YES” mode, then teaching is obtained.
An example:
1. Child refuses to clean room. When asked to clean room, child tantrums. Child is in the “NO” mode in their brain and the task of cleaning room is dismissed.
2. Child is excited and asks if they can go to grandmother’s house. They are in the “YES” mode. This is a perfect time to say, “Yes, you can go to grandmother’s house (supporting the “YES” mode). When your room is clean, then I will take you to grandmas.” The child is in the “YES” mode and will comply at a higher rate than in the “NO” mode.
In closing, this is an exciting find for scientists who have researched human biology because it helps to further understand brain activation, empathy, attunement, and responsiveness.